My Battle against HPV Cancer of the Head and Neck

One month ago, I was diagnosed with cancer of the neck and head. 

What started as a hard lymph node in my neck, ultimately tested positive for a cancer caused by the infamous HPV 16 virus. 

Here's my backstory - about a year ago, I woke up to the most painful swollen neck I've ever experienced. My neck was swollen, and I could not turn my head without serious pain. So I called my regular doctor and asked to get in right away. He saw me the same day, and prescribed a Z-Pack to battle the unknown infection. Within a few days, the swelling was gone, and my neck was functioning again. I did notice, though, that one of my lymph nodes was still very hard, but I didn't worry about.

A few months went by, and I went to an oral surgeon who was possibly going to remove my wisdom teeth, which I had been putting off for years. Nobody wants to get this done as an adult. I mentioned the hard lymph node to the surgeon, and told me I should have it looked at prior to plucking out my wisdom teeth. So I did. 

My primary doctor ordered a CT scan of the head and neck, and about a week later, the results showed a mass in my neck that needed to be biopsied. Oh shit. That doesn't sound good, I thought to myself. My doctor referred me to a ENT specialist for next level attention. 

So now I have an ENT specialist check me out. After enduring the unpleasant scope exam, he doesn't see anything out of the ordinary down through my sinus cavity, throat, and base of tongue. He sets me up with a biopsy and PET scan.  

Results of the biopsy came back and were posted on my online health chart account. I was scheduled to meet my ENT in 3 days to go over the results, but I didn't wait, and checked on the report with my wife looking over my shoulder.  

That's when the ball dropped. I read the short conclusion:

"The histologic results are positive for poorly differentiated metastatic carcinoma with head and neck primary favored. These findings are concordant with imaging."

So there it is. These words made it real. I started freaking out in my mind. An avalanche of thoughts about telling my kids, my family, my friends. Dark thoughts of dying, or having horrific surgeries and spending my final days in a hospital jumbled around in my head like a load of wet clothes in the dryer. What about my crappy HMO health care? How much is all this going to cost our family? All these thoughts, yet I hadn't spoken to my ENT about the results, or what type of treatments are out there. 

I poured over the internet searching for poorly differentiated metastatic carcinoma and... well you can probably guess what type of horrific things I came across. Somewhere I read about 7 - 9 month survival rates, and was convinced that my days were now numbered. Nothing on the internet was good. After 2 days of dread and feelings of despair and helplessness, I accepted at some level that I was going to die from this. I called my ENT's office, explained to the receptionist that I had already read my results online, and wanted to move up my appointment a day, if possible. There was a silent awkward moment on the line, and then she said "You read your results? Without the doctor? Hold on a moment!" and put me on hold. Uh, did I do something wrong? 

My ENT picked up the line (wow, this must be serious since most doctors don't actually get on the call), and said, "Hi Mr. Duncan, apparently you've already seen your results? Well, I scheduled your appointment with me because I really don't like to give out bad news over the phone." Sorry doc, but it was right there, and I couldn't wait any longer. Now I asked him about what stage I was, and what my life expectancy was. "This is a cancer related to the HPV virus, which is somewhat good news. This is treatable, and we fully expect you to survive this, Mr. Duncan."  Large sigh, eh... what? But the internet said...