1st day I started early by sedating myself an hour before I would be clamped down by señor mask. I needed to make a strong start and power though my short window of radiation. Ain't got no time for getting all claustro, so you got to sedate, and you'll be great.
Julia was there to rub my foot and remind me I was okay. Then the therapists put in my chill cd, locked me down, put in the clumsy gaggy mouth guard, and told me to breath. Ahh... I sorta just gave in and found my chi. I drifted around between reality, and fractured mental images all the while pressed snuggly down around my head, nose and mouth without an inch to adjust. After about 15 minutes, I heard voices, the mask was unlocked and made it through. Relief.
2nd and 3rd days were double treatment days. First the same ritual for preparing and getting through the radiation.
Then a short walk to the UCSC Cancer Clinic for a 5 hour long chemo infusion round. Luckily, this infusion is done while I'm sitting in a lounge chair with no restraints.
I can read, listen to my headphones, or sleep. Over the course of the infusion, many bags of hydration and anti-nausea fluids are pumped in as well. So several times I needed to roll my drip set up along with me to the restroom. This is my sleeping set up below - headphones, sunglasses, warm blanket in the recliner.
After the 3rd day, second round of chemo, I began feeling like I was coming down with something. Aching legs, low fever, irritability, and suddenly somewhat queasy. Nurses warned me not to let the nausea set in, so I amped up my meds throughout the night, and I awoke this morning still not feeling well.
Today I finished my 4th day of radiation - my daughter Sasha drove me to the clinic and came inside to meet my therapists and watch me become one with my mask and the radiation table. Afterwards, we stopped off and had a quick breakfast together. I cherish the time alone with my daughter.
It is wonderful to have her helping me, and I love seeing her nurturing and caring, which is something I really missed since she's moved out. Sasha is strictly vegan, so she came home and made a 2nd breakfast: jack fruit and avocado tacos - yum!
By the way, I'm using a lot of artist filters on many of the photos, which somehow connects to my unreal state of mind and gives me something to do to have fun while I'm down.
Sasha and I went for a hike through the Botanic Gardens, as I was feeling good enough to get a walk in.
That's a crow on her shoulder, looking up into the air, with a face on it's chest. Sasha fits right in.
I am so glad Sasha and julia are with you. I can hardly get through your post without tears. You are so brave. I love you!
ReplyDeletePlease keep blogging, Stew. And am glad, too, that Julia and Sasha are your rock...so very important.
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