Having cancer sucks. It grinds you down, day by day. It pummels your psyche - doesn't give a damn about your "good attitude", and is always there to remind you just when you find a small escape. "Hey, the good news is you're going to be fine." Yes, I believe this, but I still have to travel this painful road to get there. The here and now. And now the pain is a relentless companion. My tongue, mouth, gums and throat are exhausted and they don't want to play anymore. They don't want me to talk. Or eat. They want to be left alone.
Today is New Year's Day - January 1, 2018. I will finish my treatments in January. I think I have 12 more treatment days - finishing on January 17. I've got my calendar now where I check off each remaining day. 3 more sessions of chemo. 6 more infusions of fluids. My eyes are on the prize - getting through the next 2 and a half weeks, then starting to repair my body.
The New Year is all about new beginnings, and making the upcoming year better than the previous. I don't know what that will entail for me, but I'm pretty sure it's only going up from here.
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That's right cancer doesn't care. It doesn't care about you or your family. It doesn't care how old you are. What it doesn't like is strength and reading your blog, yes there was sadness but it didn't take long to hear your strength. You're entitled to feel these emotions. You've earned them. Nobody said it was going to be easy. That's why you are correct when you said "battling the beast ". It's very easy to give in because of the pain and suffering. I just ask that you please keep strong and remember you're at the home stretch. I enjoy reading your blog. Never be afraid to tell how you feel no matter how "dark" you are feeling. That's how you release the toxins. Never hold anything in during this battle. This is how you win. We love you. Me and Jeanette Eck. Remember that. 😁. My unborn child and the fun you had with that name.
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